Troy's Times - July 2008


www.TroyEvans.com

Troy@TroyEvans.com

 

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Welcome to Troy’s free monthly electronic newsletter, developed for people interested in overcoming adversity, adapting to change and pushing oneself to realize their full potential.

(Some ch^racters in th1s newsletter have been altered to keep it from being filtered out as spam)

IN THIS ISSUE


“It is not important How we come to the events in our lives, but how we Deal with those events”- Troy


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This Month's Featured Article:

Power and Responsibility in Prison

“The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment; it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone.”

Orison Swett Marden


As I mentioned earlier, my son drove the first phase of my “awakening.” When I discovered that I had this power to influence Eric in a positive direction it gave me a renewed sense of hope, a sense of purpose, a belief that the next several years would be something other than just wasted time, a sense that some good could come out of my being imprisoned. For me it would be education. Education was going to be my saving grace.
My child’s hope was telling me that I was still the person who had, at one time in life, had a straight A report card. I remembered how proud I had been to bring home those report cards and how proud my parents had been of me. I remembered a teacher taking me aside when I first started to go downhill and telling me that I was too good for that. And, I looked forward and knew that when I got out of prison, an ex-con and an ex-drug addict, I was going to need all the help that I could get to function in society again. Education would be the means by which I could turn a very negative situation into a life change for the positive. The bonus was that education was something my son and I could do together. I was excited and ready to get started right away, but I soon learned that I had challenges to face before I could even open my first book.
While some correctional institutions offer work programs, limited vocational programs, and very limited educational opportunities, the bottom line remains that today's institutions are based more on incarceration than they are on rehabilitation. Federal Pell grants are no longer available to either federal or state inmates, and what meager budgets most institutions are forced to work with are already overburdened with security issues, leaving little or nothing for education or rehabilitation.
I have read studies stating that the recidivism or re-arrest rate of individuals who come out of prison with just two years of college is at 10 percent. This compares to a rate of over 60 percent for those who walk out of the prison gates with no education whatsoever. Conservative estimates put costs to incarcerate an individual for a year at $35,000. It would cost a small fraction of that to educate that same individual, and in the long run would prove to be both a savings monetarily, and a potentially enormous benefit to society. I could make an argument that we are not doing society a favor in locking up criminals time and again without offering them any rehabilitation, education or means to rebuild and better themselves. But, I can tell you as fact, there was no way I was going to become the man I wanted to be if the only post-incarceration job skills available to me were going to be learned from the convicts I was doing time with.
Education was tantamount to the life I wanted to lead. I had made my decision and I had momentum and determination, but no funding, so I turned to plan B. If Congress wasn’t going to give me a chance to improve myself while I was in prison, I would create that window of opportunity for myself.
From the moment that I was confronted by the three gang members, I had started to live a new life of determination. I was a model prisoner and I had started to stand out among my fellow inmates. For the most part, I was an absolute oddity. At first the guards looked at me with skepticism. They wanted to know why I was being so good. They all knew I was in there for drugs and armed robbery. Surely I was running some sort of a game and it was just a matter of time before they would find out what I was really up to. But, as I continued along my path of being the model inmate and trying to improve myself, they started to trust that I was indeed, just doing what I said that I was doing, serving my time and trying to be a better man.
To jump-start my education, I started committing every second of my free time to my goal. Every day, every free minute I had, fourteen to sixteen hours a day, day after day, I sat at my tiny little prison desk in my tiny little prison cell, filling out applications, writing essays, begging, pleading, and selling myself to every private scholarship around the country that I even remotely qualified for. These actions received not only the guards’ attention, but the prisoners’ as well. If the guards didn’t know what to make of me, the inmates thought I was downright insane. If you want to know what it’s like to go against the grain, try hundreds of stares of disbelief coming from convicts who can’t believe that you’re sitting in your cell at a desk writing away when the rest of the prison is enjoying special privileges to watch the Super Bowl, the biggest event of the year.
I was absolutely breaking the mold, but I had given myself no other choice. I knew that I was a con. I was a felon. No one was waiting in line to take a chance on me. I knew that I would have to convince them and I knew that it was going to be hard, very hard. I got used to reading the words, “sorry”…“not qualified”…“no.” Each day at mail call I received a stack of rejection letters…until July 16th, 1997.
At that point, I had been incarcerated for four and one half years. I spent those years in a cage and had grown accustomed, as well as one can, to my environment, to the daily disappointments, and to the daily pep talks that would put me back at my desk filling out applications. There was nothing special about this particular day, just going about my everyday prison routine, when a guard stuck his head in my cell. He informed me that my counselor wanted to see me immediately. I shuffled down the hallway to my counselor's office and was told, "Evans sit down, I got a phone call on you today from a guy in Auburn, Alabama. He’s a scholarship committee chairman, and his association is interested in helping you with your schooling.”
I couldn’t believe it. I was in shock. I went over the words in my head again. Yes, he had just told me that I had earned a scholarship. The size didn’t matter. In spite of all of the wrong paths I had chosen in the past, I had convinced someone, in fact a whole committee of someone’s, to believe in me.
A week later I received a letter from Robert Henry, the scholarship committee chairman, and a check for one class. The letter informed me that although I did not meet one single criterion specified in qualifying for the scholarship, the committee was so impressed with what I was trying to accomplish that they were going to award me a special stipend.
My first hurdle had been overcome. Then I learned of the second. It was against prison policy for me to receive VHS tapes unless they were pre-screened. The problem was that the lectures for the classes that I was to enroll for were all provided on VHS. I would be required to watch hours of tape and to meet prison regulations; they would all have to be previewed. There was no way that the warden would approve man hours to review tape for one con to get his education. This is where I received my second shock.
The counselor at the prison told the warden that he was familiar with how hard I had been working to gain an education and that I had been a model prisoner. He said that he heard unbelievable stories from the guards about the prisoner, Evans, who had literally never caused a single disruption and had never been written up once. He said that with the warden’s approval, he would be willing to volunteer extra hours before and after work to review my VHS tapes so that I could take the classes.
Up until that point, I had been resolute in waking up each day and believing in myself when no one else would. It was lonely and it was hard. I had been my only cheerleader on a path that only I was certain of and I was convinced that I was going to have to make the journey alone, noticed only as an oddity. In the course of a few hours, I found out that people who were perfect strangers to me had not only noticed me for the good I was doing, but were willing to take a risk on me. They were willing to put some faith in my ability to turn myself around. It was the first time I had felt that since my early years of high school. It was the best gift I have ever received in my life. Once again, I was worthy of other people’s trust.
I took that one class and I sent the association my report card. They then sent me a check for two more classes and it snowballed from there.
When I landed that first scholarship, Eric took a keen interest in the fact that his dad was going to school. He asked that I send him my graded papers. I think he wanted to see for himself that his dad was actually going to school like he was. After that Eric showed a renewed interest in his own schooling, and we began to mail our graded papers, test scores, and report cards back and forth. He would send me his papers with the little stars, the smiley faces and the teacher comments. I would send him my test scores, report cards and term papers along with the professor comments. It became a competition with us, something that we could do together, something that we could share. As we talked on the phone weekly we would rib each other when one wouldn't do so well on a test or assignment. My education became a way for me to stay connected with my son, to share something with him, to be a part of his life. I wasn't tossing a baseball back and forth with my boy, but I was doing something with him. You know what I’m saying? I was doing something with my son.
My continuing education and the fact that I was attempting to turn my life around, combined with the positive strides I was making toward becoming a new person, had an effect on others as well. Those on the outside that were following my progress, many of them family and friends who had given up on me long before, suddenly began to ask how I was doing. I was able to start laying a foundation of trust with them again.
My fellow inmates began to notice what I was doing and took an interest. Before I knew it, I had become a prison role model. In fact, the same three inmates who had threatened me with shanks previously visited me, but this time, instead of carrying weapons, they came with a request to help them do the same thing I was doing. Those three gang members who rolled in on me, the gang members who came there to take my life if I wasn't willing to sling their drugs, now looked to me to save them.
I had turned my life around one hundred and eighty degrees. I went from a worthless drug addict to a father to my child, a son to my parents, a model of success to a scholarship program, and a role model to my fellow inmates who were starting to choose education over dead time.
I had given myself the best present that I could have received. I used hope to reclaim my self-worth. Then I put my self-worth out to the world until I convinced a scholarship committee to see potential. From potential, I built a full scholarship program and a relationship with my son. From my accomplishments I taught my parents and loved ones to listen to the hope in their hearts rather than the pessimism of experience. And from there, my worth branched out to people who would never have known who I was, including you reading this book, if I had not believed in myself first.

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Did you know that Americans have spent billions of dollars on the diet and addiction industries, many of them without any success? The reason for that is that the industries target people who have trouble taking that first step of believing in themselves. In fact, many of the buyers are people who have fallen into a spiral of despair and self-loathing and are using the energy of an infomercial, followed up by an impulse purchase to pull them back out. In the time it takes to read a credit card number over the phone, they can instantly feel better about having taken a first step. The problem is that it is the wrong first step.
Take my word for it. Remember, I went to rehab three different times while sliding down the slippery slope toward my own eventual rock bottom. I had taken many first steps, but I never truly had the one ingredient that I needed to make it stick.
Let me give you some advice. Put down your credit card. Turn off the infomercial and spend a couple of moments with YOU because the one and only first step that will make you successful is believing in yourself.
Have you ever noticed how hard it can be to take a compliment? I think that truly genuine compliments have become a rarity in today’s society. You may hear niceties spoken daily like “nice dress” or “great round” on the course, but when was the last time someone paid you a truly genuine compliment about your character or your personality. Did you feel awkward receiving it? Did you believe that you deserved it? When was the last time that you said something positive to yourself?
When I think back to the moment that I learned of my scholarship money and my counselor’s willingness to sacrifice his own personal time to help me in my pursuit of an education, the primary thought that I can remember is disbelief. It had been so long since I had received positive feedback, I had truly forgotten how to respond. In that moment, it didn’t matter whether I had received two new supporters or two thousand. It would have felt exactly the same. Yet, had I not believed in myself first, told myself that I could do it, that I had the brains and the determination and the ability to overcome any obstacle that stood in my way, my letters never would have been written, the scholarship never would have been awarded and I would not be the man I am today.
The funny thing is that, as hard as it is to take a compliment from a stranger, it is often even harder to take one from ourselves. To truly believe that you are capable and worthy of the changes that you want in your life is the greatest gift you can give yourself.
I should never have received my first scholarship check. The organization that sent it to me was the National Speakers Association. The purpose of the scholarship was to fund a college student majoring in speech or communications. As I mentioned before, Robert Henry was the chairman of the scholarship committee at the time. He is the one who convinced the committee to take a chance on a prisoner simply because he was impressed with what I was doing.
After the committee had funded me through a few classes, Robert flew out to Colorado to meet me in person. He told me how impressed he was with me and began writing letters to me weekly. Before long, he was referring to me as his son.
Remember, I had spent the majority of my life with addicts, dealers and crooks. I had never seen such generosity of spirit. My parents had given up on me long ago and were only starting to treat me with guarded optimism. But, Robert had never known me through my past. He only knew me from what I was trying to do at that point in my life. He was the first person to see the man that I was becoming and completely believe it to be true. He could read the commitment in my application and he could see the resolve in my eyes when he came to see me. I believed in myself and was determined to achieve what I had set out to do and that’s what he responded to.
A few years ago, Robert passed away. His secretary and long-time friend called me a few short days before he died and I hopped the first available plane to be at his side. When I arrived, his secretary told me not to expect a lot. He hadn’t spoken a word in three days and they expected him to pass very soon. As she led me into the room, she said, “Robert, Troy is here.” I took his hand and he turned his head and said, “My third and final son has come. I’m ready now.” Then he rolled over and closed his eyes and never uttered another word.
If you asked me when I first met Robert Henry if I would deserve such a gift in my life, I probably would have thought it nearly impossible. At that time, I’m not sure that I believed that most of my family, let alone a perfect stranger, would have ever given me that kind of acceptance, faith and love again. But I’ll tell you what I did believe. I believed that from the day I started until the day I took my dying breath, I was going to strive to become the sort of man that could earn it.
If I had never had that level of conviction, if I had never looked myself in the mirror and said nothing short of the best will do and you can do it, I never would have met Robert Henry. I never would have known the man that I consider to be a second father and I never would have become the man that I am today.
You will never get that gift from anyone but yourself. Who will believe in you if you don’t even believe in yourself? It’s the old bad news / good news scenario. The bad news is that it is you that has kept you from achieving the things that you want so badly in life. The good news is that you have total control over changing your situation. Believe that, believe in yourself, and you will find that you don’t need a first step because you are already running headlong at your goal. The truth is, how you take the first step doesn’t matter so long as you believe in yourself enough to take the second step and the third and so on.

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If you live in or near one of the following cit1es where Troy will be speaking over the next few months, please contact The Ev^ns Groups for details on an opportunity that does not come around often- see Troy present for free!
  • Los Angeles, CA
  • Birmingham, AL
  • Delta, CO
  • Philadelphia, PA
  • Grand Forks, ND
  • Toledo, OH
  • San Diego, CA
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About the Author- Troy Evans is a profess1onal speaker and author who resides in Phoenix, AZ with his wife Pam and his dog Archibald. Troy travels the country delivering keynote presentations, and since his release from prison has taken the corporate and association pl^tforms by storm. Overcoming adversity, adapting to change and pushing yourself to realize your full potential- other speaker’s talk about these issues, Troy has walked them.


For information on booking Troy or for a listing of available products, please contact:

The Evans Group
3104 E. Camelback Road, #436
Phoenix, AZ 85016
602-265-6855
Fax: 602-285-1474
Troy@troyevans.com
http://www.troyevans.com